I’m So Vain I Probably Think This Blog is About Me

Which is why I’ve been ignoring it. I’m like an emotionally abusive husband to myself. What does that have to do with vanity? Well maybe I’m just so into myself I don’t even have time to pay attention to myself and sometimes when I jerk off I don’t even finish myself off because it’s all about me and once I get mine why do I care if I get mine? Get off or get off am I right me? Shit wtf am I talking about?

Oh yeah, me.

So yeah since I write this for me I’m like “whatever dude I’m not writing a blog today bitch” and I’m all like “but you never blog like you used to blog, remember when you’d hold me and we’d just blog all night?” And I’m like, “bitch I’m fucking your sister.” Then I’m like, “you know my sister is your sister right?” and then I sort of gross myself out. But then I remember what I was talking about and I’m like, “listen we just started seeing each other me, let’s not get all serious” and I’m all like, “but I thought we really had something” and then I’m all like… “sometimes I just need my space.”

This is getting out of control. I’ll get to the point.

I’m quitting my job. The one I talk shit about all the time. I’m not exaggerating in those posts, seriously it’s shit. I mean my job is kind of cool but this place is a cesspool. I’m doing the same job but for a different company (don’t worry I’m not blogging for a living I’m not that crazy hahahahahahahhahahhhahhaaahahahahhaha riight? RIGHT! <slaps himself and asks himself why he makes himself hit himself>

No for reals though I quit which means I have a mess to clean up before I go because I’m the only one here who does what I do, plus I have this whole search history thing I need to deal with (aka figure out how to delete from remote servers) and I’m trying to stockpile enough content for their blogs and whatnot so their optimization and social media doesn’t start to sink. Despite this being a cesspool I worked too hard to let that happen, at least not for a few months yet.

What I’m saying is, I’m not going to quit blogging because I do it for me.

But also, unless by some mistake of the universe my blog gets semi-popular, it really doesn’t warrant any excuse for not posting for a week or two weeks (and if the universe makes a cosmic mistake they will regret and this gets popular I’ll let people know I didn’t drop off the face of the earth… but that won’t happen because my next post is going to be about…)

WHY PARENTS SUCK AND SO DO TEACHERS! AND THAT’S OKAY ‘CAUSE YOUR KID WAS GOING TO GROW UP TO BE DUMB ANYWAY!

Still working on the title. See, this shit will never catch on.

Laterz yo. I’ll get more semi-daily about this shit once things settle down.

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About Please Return to Owner

I'm your deranged avatar, a figment of your fevered imagination. Breath a word of this to no one. They'll all call you crazy.
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2 Responses to I’m So Vain I Probably Think This Blog is About Me

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