Because I Feel Bad About the Last Entry of the Week Being a Poem… HERE’S HOW NUMBERS WORK YEAH!

This is going to be really short.

Freshman Algebra for some reason we get into Social Security numbers. My guess why? Teacher was trying to steal some identities in retrospect, but who knows.

Obnoxious Kid (Me): Hey, what happens when there are more people than numbers?

Professor Math Genius: They’ll add more. Open your…

Me: No I mean there are nine spaces, 3-2-4. So what they just add another number like no big deal? 3-3-4? 4-2-4? 3-2-5?

Professor Math Genius: Why do you keep saying numbers? You know what, never mind, please…

Me: Numbers. Spaces. Place holders. That space is limited and in high demand. You know they’ll run out right? So where will the place holders go?

Professor Math Genius: They’ll start using zeros in there.

Me: O.o…   Um…   o.O…    I…   >.<….   I

Professor Math Genius: Moving along, please…


Professor Math Genius: Language! <calms down> They’ll add zeros David it’s not important.

Me: <raises hand this time to make up for the cussing but forgets about the part where you need to be called on> Let’s test your little theory!

Professor Math Genius: <suddenly must have a headache because he takes off his glasses and starts rubbing his eyes>

Me: Put a zero anywhere you want in a Social Security number and I’ll bet I can name that number. And I’ll bet that number isn’t infiniti! WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE! 

Professor Math Genius: <I suspect he was hungover now that I think about it, I’d be hungover if I had to teach me math> They’ll move the numbers around can we get on with…


Professor Math Genius: David! Office now!

Me: SHIT! <jumps out of desk, grabs chalk, starts writing out a Social Security numbers to prove a point. Professor Math Genius tries to take chalk from David. David throws chalk across room and marches straight to the office where he gets 3 days detention>

And….. scene!

The moral is you shouldn’t cuss in class kids, and apparently 9 digits is < or = to infinity. Either way no worries because you can always just stick a zero somewhere.



About Please Return to Owner

I'm your deranged avatar, a figment of your fevered imagination. Breath a word of this to no one. They'll all call you crazy.
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1 Response to Because I Feel Bad About the Last Entry of the Week Being a Poem… HERE’S HOW NUMBERS WORK YEAH!

  1. Or, go green and recycle. Ooh..even better, just steal someone else’s social security number. Wait, someone’s (actually a LOT of someones) already doing that, aren’t they?

    You know, you may have a point.

    Social Security is the shit. Too bad, by the time you get old enough to collect it, old farts like me will have spent it all on Depends and orthopedic shoes.

    Bwahahahahaha! Sucker!


Really? That's so interesting. You don't say. Uh huh... What! No I'm totally listening!

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